I’m sorry for not caring when I said I did, not loving when I said I would, not listening when I said I would. I’m sorry for being so hateful, rude, unintelligent, childish, selfish, passive-aggressive, unfaithful, hopeless, careless, and flat out mean. Someday enough will be enough and you will drop me, as you should. Whether we were ever “compatible” or not is totally irrelevant. Because you believed in something, you stayed. I’ve mistreated you, spoke to you like you were nothing, acted like you were nothing, cheated on you, lied to you, ignored you, and still you stayed. We’ve been together 11 years and we’ve had so many problems along the way. You just don’t need to hold on to nonproductive guilt! Get someone to help you if you can’t do it by yourself. Any other guilt can be released as it doesn’t do anything for you anymore. Guilt is only necessary as an emotion to get you to stop doing harmful things or pushing you to do things we know you need to do that you have been avoiding. You may choose to send it or not, but writing it, saying you are sorry and feeling regret can help. Take time now to write a letter to the person you have hurt. Even if it has been years and years ago since you hurt someone, you can still write about it and say that you are sorry. Or you can even talk to that person’s angel and tell them of your regrets that you hurt the person.
You can tell the person to his or her face what your are sorry about or you can write a letter. Making an amends is a correction technique where you address your regret that you have hurt the other person. You make an amendment to your behavior–you add something that makes it right by saying you are sorry. Making an amends is an apology to tell someone that you are sorry for what you did. You can let go of the helpful kind of guilt after you made amends to the person you hurt. Breathe deeply and picture your guilt being released. Then picture yourself sending it to the moon, the center of the earth or anywhere safe where it will be neutralized. Close your eyes and picture yourself going deep inside your body and collecting all the unnecessary guilt and putting it in a bag. Use this imagery to let the bad kind of guilt go. Separate out your extra guilt from your helpful guilt. It just hangs around like a bad habit bugging you and making you feel rotten. This is extra guilt where you feel like you are at fault even when you know that you didn’t do anything wrong. There is another kind of heaped-on-guilt that is not helpful. I won’t do that again.” This is helpful guilt–it gets you to change something that you are doing that doesn’t fit for you. Guilt helps you look at your behavior and say, “What I did was wrong for me and it hurt someone else. Guilt works to nag you so that you won’t do harmful things again. Guilt is an emotion that comes from the conscience when you have done something you know is wrong. Guilt says, “I did something wrong and so now I have to feel bad.” There are two kinds of guilt. Taking responsibility and saying that you are sorry about something you did wrong is one way you can let go of guilt.
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